God’s Calling

1 Feb

This is the 2nd testimony to be submitted for seminary application.

I was touched as I recapped God’s blessings again…

Really thankful 🙂

I never imagined that one day I would be applying to be a full-time theological college student. Though I became Christian at a very young age, it was never my ambition to be a full-time minister in the church. I was born a very worldly person, with many worldly pursuits and desires. I used to think that only very ‘noble’ persons will become full-time church workers, and I am definitely not part of this league of God-loving people. I thought it suffices that I attended church every Sunday, gave my tithes faithfully, with some occasional thanksgiving and missionary offerings, and served casually in some ministries that I liked. That was all I thought I was willing to offer to God. And I thought God should be more than happy with this already.

The turning point came after I graduated from university. About 8 years ago, a Reverend spoke to me personally and gave me this vision that I could start praying to enter into full-time Christian ministry. At first, this sounded like a tall order to me. I was also a bit apprehensive, as this was totally not what I envisioned myself to be, and was entirely different from my worldly desires/ambition. I was not sure whether I could be so ‘noble’ for the sake of God to offer my whole life to serve Him and others humbly. I was not sure whether my weak life could be of any use to God, or to bless others and bring them to Christ.

I had doubts that this Reverend might not know me (and my limitations) well enough and thus ‘mistakenly’ gave me this ‘holy vision’. Of course, he explained his reasons and helped me to see God’s doings and guidance on me all this time. God made me majored in Psychology, used me to counsel some brothers and sisters in church and touched some lives, made me a cell group leader, gave me the thirst in His gospel and the heart to equip myself with the word of God through attending 3-4 church meetings per week (discipleship training, prayer meetings, cell group sessions, special meetings, etc). Surely, God has His reasons and plans to guide me so.

Though I could not be fully convinced about this calling at that time, I could not deny that I felt a strange, quiet joy within me when I heard that Reverend’s vision and prayer for me. So I put this in my heart to pray since then. I was careful to test and approve that this was God’s voice, instead of the Reverend’s subjective opinion. I need to be convinced that this came from God, not man.

Everything remained about the same after the prayer topic given by the Reverend, I continued to grow and serve in Christ. However, few years later, I reached the lowest point in my life when my father passed away, at the same time when I was going through a break-up with my 5-year long ex-boyfriend. Strangely, I received the greatest confirmation of God’s calling into Christian ministry during this dire period.

During this weakest moment of my life, when I found myself losing strength, faith and heart to serve and even to follow God, He held all the more tightly to me. He continuously healed me with His word and love, through the support from my pastor and church brethren. God’s words never tasted sweeter to me than during this period! I personally experienced how God’s word alone could make a person rejoice again, how His word is living and active and is the power of the gospel! I was touched by His love like never before, how can anyone ever love me more than Christ?!

It was at this frailest moment of my life that God made me lead an additional cell group, gave me new church ministries to be involved in and most surprising of all, sent people to seek comfort and counseling from me. Somehow, I managed to find strength from relying on the Holy Spirit to do all these despite my internal struggles. Then I realized that I was actually gradually healed through serving and leading a church-centred and promise-centred life.

I had thought that God could only use me at the strongest time of my life, when I am most holy. Yet, the amazing Lord showed that He indeed

“chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him” (1 Cor 1: 27-29).

If it were not the hands of God working on me when I was so down, how could a mere man do it? Especially during a time when I was at lowest point of my life!

Since then, God’s anointing just kept coming upon me and I was subsequently ordained as a church deacon 2 years ago. I started to envy the Christian ministry, instead of viewing it as a personal sacrifice that I had to make. I found joy in serving and touching lives. Slowly, the perspective that “my full-time job is not my secular career, but I am a full-time Christian and witness of Christ” started to sink in me. I felt honored and grateful to be able to be used by the Lord.

I had confirmed that it is not that I can give God anything, or sacrifice for God, but a church-centred, brethren-centred, and gospel-centred life is what that can benefit me the most, and it is the vision and purpose that will bring my life the greatest joy, meaning and strength.

It is also not that only full-time church ministers are the ‘noble’ ones. But everyone has his/her roles to play, which are all given by God, as mentioned in <Ro 12: 6-8>:

“we have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully”.

So does <1 Co 12: 4-6> say:

“There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men”.

By now, I cannot deny God’s conviction and how He confirmed His plans for me. So, I am not being ‘noble’ to enter full-time Christian ministry, but I am simply obeying and responding to this irresistible higher calling. If God has set His mind to use me, I know He will open doors and lead me faithfully, regardless of my own conditions and qualities.

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3 Responses to “God’s Calling”

  1. David February 10, 2012 at 11:02 am #

    Dear sister, I am very encouraged by your sharing. May you continue to win and disciple souls for Jesus. Amen.

    • huijun1910 February 11, 2012 at 11:28 pm #

      Thanks for your prayers, brother!

  2. ludo June 23, 2013 at 1:00 am #

    This is so amazing may our heavenly father continue to use and bless you! God is great!!in Jesus name!!!

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