迟来的应允, 最好的应允!Late Answer, Best Answer!

7 Nov

Oh I hadn’t been blogging for sooo long!!

On this fine afternoon on a public holiday, thought I should restart my blogging engine…

Hmm…so this ‘迟来的’ (late) blog entry shall talk about ‘迟来的应允’ (late answers)…

Since young, I am always ‘slower’ than others…      

  • By the time others already grown very tall, I am still very short (believe me, I was the shortest in class, seating at the very front row till Sec 2, age 14!)
  • When everyone started to use ‘pager’, I haven’t…
  • When everyone started to have handphones, I only just began using pager…
  • When everyone found job after uni graduation, I only found mine 2 months later…
  • When everyone started having & changing boyfriends, I only had my first boyfriend at age 20…
  • I only took my first plane ride at age 25, when most of my peers already tried it so many times…

Sometimes, I will ask God why I’m always the last…why I always get to enjoy things later than the others…Is it fair? Or is it ‘cos I don’t deserve to enjoy good things as much as others deserve?

BUT

In the end, I grew to be the tallest…

I had many chances of travelling…

Though I took longer to find job, I found the job that I’m so contented with that I stayed on till now for 8 years since graduation…

So who says that deferred answers are not good…or that blessings will be missed out when they come at a later timing…

Heh…some of you would have guessed what’s the ‘迟来的应允’ late answer that I am sharing here…

Yes, here’s the ‘迟来的应允’ :

Well, since Pastor already made that ‘announcement’ for us, some of you would know that we are colleagues…

Knew for about 3 years…

Got closer since 1.5 yrs ago…

He was a non-Christian but now a believer…

2 years younger than me…

Actually, both of us never imagined we would be together…

When we first knew each other yrs ago, he thought I was a 33-year old auntie (I was only 27 or 28 then)!!!! He finds me very naggy at that time…and thinks that I am very picky and have ‘princess’ expectations…no wonder was still single…

And I always think to myself that whoever is his girlfriend is very poor thing, he doesn’t seem to know how to take care of the girl, and he looks so skinny & shy how to protect the girl…

But God is cute..it turns out that I became that ‘fool’…heh…

Well, but I took a long 1+ year to decide becoming the ‘fool’, ‘cos I really had a lot of concerns:

Most important factor: He was NOT a Christian then…& it seemed difficult that he would believe (he don’t have problems in life, so don’t seem to ‘need’ Jesus at all), & even if he does believe, the spiritual gap may be too far for us to come together…and will he find it too much if he knows I am going to be the next full-time pastor (i.e. if he knows that I am ‘that serious’ in my faith)…

He looked soooooo young plus I am so very tall, I look like his godmother standing beside him..how to go out with him like that..

Besides looking young, he is really still young, so is he just ‘playing’ around? After all, he is young, he can afford to play trial & error a few more years with a few ‘targets’, & he is the kind who likes to take risks…but I am super risk-adverse…Furthermore, he came to me not long after he broke up, why he could get over so fast?….He just don’t give any sense of ‘security’…

But God led in amazing ways…

First, He led pastor to tell me to be “open-minded” (i.e. who says cannot consider non-Christian suitors) just about the time CJ appeared…of cos, pastor qualified by saying that he would not say that to any person if their foundation in the Lord is not that stable yet…but he knew I am the risk adverse, conservative and ‘rigid’ in following the Bible kind…so he wanted me to understand Holy Spirit’s flexible & unimaginable guidance better…in any case, pastor knew that if the person don’t love God in the end, I wouldn’t be attracted to him even if I am open-minded…

Then 2 most important things pastor told me were:

(1) care for (focus on, 关注) CJ’s salvation / soul more than thinking about whether God plans for us to be together in the end (‘cos whether or not we are matched by God, God’s will is definitely for him to be saved!), and

(2) definitely have to be passive and slow, since he is non-believer.           

So subsequently, I limit my communication with CJ to talk more about faith/spiritual matters…finally brought him to church…he was touched by Holy Spirit the first time he came to my church…then he went to his friend’s church for a few months to understand the gospel because he wanted to de-link me & the faith & know God independent of me…but even after he went church regularly every week, I knew he was definitely not born again…so in between I made things clear with him at least twice on separate occasions that we cannot be together…ha actually at that time, I already liked him when I rejected him…but my thought is ‘what will be, will be’, if God wants us to be together, God will surely let us ‘失而复得’…otherwise, 不是我的,就不是我的.

After the awkward rejections, we stayed away from each other for quite awhile…but strangely, God kept bringing us together: from different office buildings to the same office, from different seats to sit beside each other, from not-on-talking terms to talk again…

More importantly, throughout this period, God has also slowly changed CJ’s spirit to truly believe & become born again…

Later on, as I talked more to him to understand him better, I started to see how God made him grow spiritually…& at a very fast pace too…But of cos we had differing views about some spiritual matters. There were some occasions when we discussed at length about ‘神为’ and ‘人为’…he could not agree with me on some things, & we again stopped talking for awhile, to the extent we knew we cannot be together if we cannot reconcile on this perspective. Somehow, God enlightened him…

Heh…I used to joke that God will surely give me a fat, old, bald shorty for my second boyfriend, to be everything different from my ex, so that I can focus on the matters of spirit rather than matters of flesh (‘cos everyone knows I focus a lot on ‘aesthetics’)…

But God is so good, this time I got someone who’s handsome as well, not taller but at least not shorter than me (without my heels), who’s a young Christian but can communicate with me better than my ex, even spiritually…and who’s even younger than me (hey, it’s harder to get someone younger to like a woman leh, there’re a lot more ‘sweet young things’ out there as options ma…)

So it’s all God’s grace & doing…and I thank God for this ‘deferred’ (it took 5-6 years!) yet best answer to prayers…haha & I thank all who prayed for me & given me support through these years! 🙂

Pastor ever told me that when the real Answer (Mr Right) comes, my joy will be so great that I will cleanly forget how painful I was in the past 5-6 years…& indeed it is so!

Many people are afraid to wait and cannot be happy in the waiting process, but in the last 5-6 years, God trained me to totally experience what it means by:

不一定要等到看到应允后才喜乐;乃是先因为神的爱而喜乐,而过后必看见神信实的证据!

Do not have to wait till receive the answer then can rejoice; but delight first in the love of Christ, and then will see God’s faithful evidences!

Process (enjoy Immanuel) is more important than the outcome! 过程(能享受主)胜于结果!

Of cos, even after getting the ‘deferred’ answer, there are still things to pray about & to rely on faith…the path ahead may not be completely ‘rosy’, but God has made me realize that in any good or bad situation, I still need Him all the same (doesn’t mean receive answer then don’t need Him anymore).

So those who already received answers need not feel too happy or that others without answers yet are 可怜; and those who are still waiting for answers also need not feel discouraged, for God says:

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12 Responses to “迟来的应允, 最好的应允!Late Answer, Best Answer!”

  1. Qiuyin November 8, 2011 at 11:11 am #

    Amen sister! The person who wait patiently for God’s miracle to happen will harvest joyously in the end 🙂

  2. sophia November 8, 2011 at 11:32 am #

    Wow HJ!!! Congratulations!! Haha, indeed God is SO adorable!! (hug)

    But hey…I’m 24 and still never had a boyfriend so I am even later than you…and also I still haven’t graduated from college…that means my answer is bigger too? hahaha.

    • huijun1910 November 8, 2011 at 8:36 pm #

      wow Sophia, didnt expect you to see this blog so fast!
      well, your answer has always been big ah, looking at how God has guided you all these yrs & showered you with His tremendous grace…We just cannot imagine the kind of work God is doing and will be doing on you! 🙂

  3. November 8, 2011 at 11:58 am #

    Hey, a thought came into my mind: ‘When God gets creative, our unimaginative goes.’

    Sophia, we’ll wanna be imaginative for u…:)

  4. Helen November 19, 2011 at 8:09 pm #

    Hui Jun, congratulations! Happy for you.

    At least nobody’s likely to ask you “Your son ah?” when he’s dressed down in t-shirt and shorts and looks 10 years younger than he actually is! 😀 THAT’LL really unmake one’s day and make one feel so aunty. Trust me, I’ve been there. On top of being creative, God has a sense of humour!

    • huijun1910 November 19, 2011 at 11:48 pm #

      hey, Sis Helen, gd to hear from you! 🙂 Regardless of what others say, God gives the best to His children! Look forward to seeing you soon in Penang…I’m going with Pastor this coming Mon. Catch up then!

  5. Elaine November 22, 2011 at 1:54 pm #

    Hey, finally get to read your ‘best’ blog 🙂 I am happy for you. No wonder you said we shared some similarity in our relationship hehe. Amen to late answer is best answer! By the way, you guys look so cute together. Perfect match;)

  6. ad November 22, 2011 at 4:31 pm #

    Such a sweet and lovely post! Yeps God’s children receive the best, early or late 🙂 Amen!

  7. En Yun November 22, 2011 at 6:44 pm #

    Dear Huijun, happy to hear the good news and may God bless your relationship. Adr had shared this site with me recently. . Your guy must be quite special, wait for you for 3 yrs. My hubby waited for me for 8 mths, say almost cannot tahan liao… How will your working relationship pan out in terms of conflict of interest? In my case, I was blessed that God prepared a job opening for me shortly after CS returned from his overseas posting. Btw, you have waited quite long but some of my sisters in Christ have been waiting even longer. So, if any of you know of any good Christian dudes do let me know ok.

    • huijun1910 November 25, 2011 at 4:53 pm #

      Hey Enyun, good to hear from you! 🙂
      heh he didnt wait for me for 3 yrs la, we knew each other for abt 3 yrs..then he only spent abt 1+ yrs to court me..

      we wun hv any conflicts of interests cos we are in different depts at work..

      tks for ur well wishes & concern…May the Lord cont to bless ur marriage & give u ‘fruits’ of love soon!
      keep in touch! 🙂

  8. Jesslyn February 12, 2012 at 11:53 pm #

    Hi Sis, I v this blog.上帝赐给你迟来的春天是最好的,我真心祝福你,不要让我等喝你的喜酒太久。

    • huijun1910 February 13, 2012 at 2:02 am #

      Amen! 谢谢妳的祝福!:)

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