Falling in Love Again!

18 Jul

Oh I realised it’s been weeks since I last blogged..
Hmm…maybe it’s because I felt relieved after Sunday service today, or maybe it’s a feeling triggered by sipping hot coffee on it’s a rainy day, I’m in this ‘romantic’ mood to write this post…

Well, increasingly these few months, I’m getting back these feelings of being in love…
For those who have loved before, well you will understand those feelings of:

  • Waking in the morning having this very sweet feeling that still lingers on from a nice date the day before…
  • Waking up feeling very happy ‘cos you know there is someone in this world who really cares for you, cares for the true you with all the weaknesses, and not the “packaged” you…
  • Knowing that someone always pays attention on you…when you walk into a room, you just know that someone’s sight is fixed on u…He can pinpoint your exact location in a packed room…
  • The yearning that keeps you waiting for calls/smses…
  • Missing him when do not see / hear him, & no matter how busy or tired you are, you will find strength to go on just from seeing his face, which says “I understand”, “I can sayang you when you are tired”…
  • When someone misunderstood you (e.g. think you are proud when you are not, expect you to be strong when you are indeed weak, etc), you can trust him to understand…after talking to him, you will forget about the anger from a quarrel, the hurt from a comment, etc etc…it doesn’t matter even if the whole world misunderstands you, as long as he knows…
  • Wanting him to be the first to hear about all your complaints, good news, etc…
  • Every gift he gives is the best…it could be a silly soft toy, ugly bag, nerdy blouse, etc, it still never fails to bring a smile to your face…cos it is from “him”, with love
  • No matter what tantrum you throw, he’s always tolerant…even to the extent that even if you are the unreasonable one & it is not his fault, he still gentlemanly coaxes you with patience & love…
  • You fumbled, but instead of laughing at you or rubbing it in, he gave loving encouragements…
  • Having sweet surprises once in awhile…totally unexpected delivery of bouquets, desserts at your doorsteps etc…

Yes, that’s what happens when a person is in love…and the list goes on…
And I’ve been fortunate enough to have tasted all the above in my so-called ‘fairytale’ relationship of the past…actually I had only mentioned about the pains from my past relationship and I have never said this in my blog before…but that past 5-year relationship was like a “Cinderella” dream come true…everything I had hoped for in a relationship, in a man, was found in that one relationship…that man was like the perfect dream guy from some Korean drama…ha, so I never blamed God for letting me go thru it, despite it not having the ‘happily ever after’ ending…

BUT I’m writing this blog NOT to reminisce about the past…no, it’s about the present!

Well, being a Christian for more than 20 years, I have been feeling a little numb up till few months ago, just like some worldly romance may also get dry after a few years….While I know in my head that God loves me, but plain knowledge & lots of dry spiritual truths just can’t ignite any intimate ‘sparks’ between me & God…and boredom sets in…

But I’m in love all over again…with God! 🙂
All along, God has been trying to convince me that the ‘fairytale romance’ can still go on, except that the Prince Charming is now the best Lover, Christ instead…
So to find out whether this is true, I need to practically CONFIRM

People know me as a very practical person…so I’ve always been trying to ‘practicalise’ the ‘spiritual’ and ‘spiritualise’ the practical…I guess the reason why God gives us some worldly, human encounters is so that we can draw inferences from these encounters to get an idea of the unseen God’s love & heartbeat too…

So why do in say I’m in love again?
‘Cos I’m experiencing all the symptoms of being in love with Christ again:

  • Waking in the morning having lingering sweet feeling from recollecting God’s grace at work, family, serving etc, the day before…
  • Waking up feeling happy ‘cos regardless of whether anyone values me or remembers me, God sees me as the apple of His eyes…He will walk with me today, so I do not need to be afraid of the office meetings later, the presentations, the uncertainty awaiting me ahead etc …
  • Knowing that Christ’s eyes are always on me (not to ‘monitor’ me & thus gives me pressure, but to protect me & thus make all my paths straight)…and He centres His work on me…
  • I’m always keeping the lookout for His voice in my living fields…and missing Him (disappointed) when He is silent to my spirit…I just need to meet Him everyday or my heart will yearn…
  • No matter how busy or tired I am, will find strength to go on as long as I meet Him in prayers…and is reminded of His unchanging promises of love…
  • Want to complain to God first and want to first give thanks to Him for His grace before celebrating any ‘good’ things…
  • Though I may not appreciate every “gift” that God gives, & some perfect will I have not understood yet, I still can find reasons to give thanks ‘cos that thing happened not coincidentally, but was given by God for a good reason, with love
  • No matter what tantrum I threw, sometimes because I did not understand His reasons and was angry when my desires were not met, yet he’s always tolerant and is not petty to ‘cut’ my blessings when I’m unreasonable but still gives me little grace daily…
  • God’s grace also comes frequently in most unexpected ways…giving timely strength, wisdom, and even physical things like people’s concern & company when needed, etc…

God is really so marvellous, to meet me at my level…He knows I’m not ‘philosophical’ so He can’t appeal too much to me with ‘theories’…so He appeals to my “浪漫主义” fairytale dream… Who says the romantic relationship captured in Song of Songs between the Lover (Christ) and Beloved (Me) can’t be re-enacted in real life? We just need to be a little more sensitive to CONFIRM His loving presence in our lives…


Even if I have someone, someone physical, who loves me deeply, he can’t be by my side 24-7…and he can’t possibly understand and empathize with me 100%, no matter how hard he tries…but Christ can! He is the One who can be right there with me to calm my nerves during a presentation, who waits together with me when the bus took half an hour to come at my secluded workplace bus stop full of men smoking, whistling and loitering around at nite…He is ever-present whenever I need Him, and His presence (in my spirit) makes me brave…He is the One who can empathise that sometimes it is not that I do not want (to do good), but I just can’t…He is the One who can forgive unconditionally and love unconditionally
Even if I have a physical someone in future, I’ll remember that while I’m enjoying humanly love, my 1st n top Lover is God Himself, ‘cos only He can truly satisfy!

So my conclusion?
My God is a living, ever-present God!
My God is a practical (romantic) God!
My God is an awesome God!
🙂

He has won my heart over & He is the best Lover…
(Is He) Can He be your Lover too?


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7 Responses to “Falling in Love Again!”

  1. suyun2710 July 18, 2010 at 11:50 pm #

    I have never been in a romantic relationship with a guy. It’s a great feeling to be in love. And reading this, I really yearn for a renewed “fall in love” with God again relationship too!

  2. huijun1910 July 19, 2010 at 12:29 am #

    We being ‘seasoned’ Christian may inevitably experience periods of numbness…but as what your bro said, may each “low” season be still higher than the preceding “peak”…

    I think you are already in a renewed love relationship with God…seeing how joyful u are & how anointed you are in your life & serving recently 🙂

  3. Jw July 19, 2010 at 12:44 am #

    Hehe sis , I love this entry of yours ! It’s such joy reading this post .. Makes me feel that you are so liberated and that the prophecy is coming true ..
    We really don’t need physical people with us to make us happy ! Sometimes God makes us feel 100 times sweeter although he is not physically present .. I have deeply received this conviction this week lol ..
    Btw Blog more ! It’s nice to read your ‘romantic’ entries once in awhile ..

  4. huijun1910 July 19, 2010 at 1:21 am #

    ahh, u are still harping on ur ‘prophecy’..heh, u really want ‘counselling’ session with pastor is it 🙂

    Oh gd to hear that u had great conviction this week abt the sweet presence of God too…

    May the week ahead be full of more intimate evidences for u!

  5. Unmeritedly favored July 20, 2010 at 4:33 am #

    Nice to read. But thinkng deeper. You may be on your way to a blessed singlehood. Amen!

  6. sophia July 20, 2010 at 9:52 am #

    Haha, you scared me for a bit…I thought you found a new bf!

    I’ve never been in love before…and I doubt love is that sweet. God’s love is sweet, but why is romantic love so freaking annoying?!

    • huijun1910 July 20, 2010 at 4:36 pm #

      Heh dun say too fast..u used to not like to doll up but now u so “girly”…who knows next time u will not find romantic love annoying…

      But of cos, God’s love will still be sweeter than all 🙂

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