* Wedding Bells *

28 Jun

Hmm…at my age it is not uncommon to attend many weddings…

However, this is year is abit more special…

‘Cos I recalled that 5 years ago, I made a very serious “threat” to God…

…that if by the time my ex and my sister got married & I’m still without even a boyfriend, then I’m going to kick up a real big fuss to Father God…and I’m determined to fulfill that threat, if necessary…

Well, God made both the 2 most “feared” weddings took place in the same year (my ex got married in Mar & my sister was married 2 days ago, on 26 Jun 2010)…

While I’m perfectly alright attending others’ weddings, dunno why it is just different with my ex & sis…err in the case of my ex, perhaps it’s a matter of “face”, ‘cos I would be seen as such a ‘loser’ if I did not at least have a boyfriend after we separated ways…it’s like he is so ‘successful’ to be married & I’m still at square one, totally ‘defeated’…

And in the case of my sis, again it could be also due to ‘face’, cos being the elder sis, by right I should get married first…yes, I know I sound like an evil sister…who should by right be happy for my sister if she found happiness, yet I was there concerned about social pressure that I need to face if my sister marries first…

Ok, I was still human then, so I can’t help having those thoughts back then…but that was a ‘threat’ made 5 years ago…

TODAY, God done a great miracle in me…

Of cos, if I really have a boyfriend right now, that would be a miracle, or so I thought 5 years ago…

Yet, God gives me more than a simple miracle…

I have a greater one now…

That is, though I’m still single now, I no longer feel the social pressure nor am I upset with God that my sister is getting married before me…now, that to me is a greater miracle!

I mean, it’s of cos natural and easier to feel happy for my sister’s wedding when I myself also am attached, but it’s not that easy to face the anticipated social pressure (or u can say ‘social pity’?) when I’m still single…but God done the latter miracle on me!

‘cos throughout the years, God has made me realize that it is not just about being married or not…but what’s more important is being ‘blissful’ in life…

I’d come to realize that if I were to marry the ‘wrong’ man, it would really be better off (i.e. happier) staying single & be satisfied by Christ Himself…

Why do I say that? ‘cos as much as I would prefer to be married than single, God gave me a few separate encounters where going out one-hour with a person seemed like 5 hrs and I just can’t wait for the session to end, no matter how nice the place/activity or how eligible the guy is (even if that person is a Christian who fits my most important criteria for life partner)…those experiences are useful to make me realize that the end (i.e. bliss) is more important than the means (in this case, having a relationship)…

Ha, one of my recent favorite phrases is: “It would feel happier cleaning the washroom (something that I usually hate to do on my own) together with the one you love, than viewing romantic Christmas light-up with the one you have no chemistry/love with”…

Some friends who are nice to try to help me often asked why I’m so insistent on getting someone of the same faith, yet when someone of the same faith comes along, I may not have that kind of ‘chemistry’ too…I sometimes wonder if they think ‘I deserve to be single, since I’m so choosy (not that I have many to choose from also la)’…well, I also dunno how to explain to them sometimes…in a way, having the same Christian faith is the ‘pre-requisite’ to ‘having chemistry’…some of my non-Christian friends think Christians are too rigid in this. However, I cannot imagine having to spend my whole life with someone who totally cannot comprehend my inner true thoughts…how is that person going to connect with me when I’m sad, happy, insecure, worried, etc etc? The communication will only remain at superficial level and conflicts will surely arise in managing household, finances, children etc due to different life values and approaches and priorities…the initial human love in the relationship will soon be swallowed up by boredom in marriage life or conflicts due to differences…so yes, same Christian faith is a must…Furthermore, how can any marriage be truly blissful without Christ’s purpose, support, blessings and favor? But even if have same faith, also need ‘feelings’…that one has no hard & fast rules, but just have to depend on whether the Holy Spirit gives that kind of ‘feelings’…

Well, till now I have yet to come across anyone who seems right/suitable to me…if God permits, that right man will come one day…but before that, true bliss comes from delighting myself in the Lord <Psalms 37:4>…and if I can derive joy & satisfaction from the Lord, does it still matter if I got married or not in the end? If yes, it is a bonus from God, but if no, the joy will not be discounted…so my focus? To work on sustaining to be delighted more and more by the Lord…

So with the gradual healing and understanding with regard to relationships, I found the threat issued to God 5 years ago no longer valid now…though my sister has really gotten married before me, I was truly happy for her and found reasons to give thanks:

1. My sister found a good brother-in-Christ to take care of her. He is not only a Christian but his physical qualities are also considered as quite good in human eyes. More importantly, my sister has grown in her relationship with God and spiritual maturity ever since dating her husband.

2. My sister’s wish is to be married at 28 years old, & God amazingly and faithfully fulfilled it. This also reminded me that God is always faithful to those who turn to Him…

3. Surprisingly, almost none of my relatives imposed any pressure on me or asked me ‘sensitive’ questions like ‘when is it your turn, now that your sis is married?’…In fact, I was even prepared to face a whole bunch of questions, but they didn’t come…haha so God is also faithful to me too…

And I also enjoyed myself at the wedding too…from being able to share in my sister’s joy to the chance to be dressed up & be pretty, to good food etc…

Here’s are some pics from my sister’s wedding to share 🙂

My sis & I

Bridesmaid gown lovingly altered by mum

Mum leading sis into hall

Happily married

Bro/sis from my church sharing the joy too

3 bridesmaids & bride

Happy bridesmaids - Younger sis & me

Younger sis, groom, bride & me

敬茶 - Happily being called "da jie" by bro-in-law..I have to 'fight' for this cos my mum at first superstitious..said unmarried elder sis can't drink from wedded couple..ha in the end, she put down her superstition.

Big family from mum's side

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13 Responses to “* Wedding Bells *”

  1. June 28, 2010 at 12:55 pm #

    Dear sis, I am happy for you. See, its been 5 years. God didn’t disappoint us, and you din disappoint me. And it will always be so, becoz that is HIS promise.
    Our Lord JESUS himself IS indeed our BLISS.

  2. liwen4lcm June 28, 2010 at 1:10 pm #

    You are so beautiful! The joyful in your face that tells me, ‘I’m the most blissful person in the world’ because Christ is the only reason. 🙂

    • huijun1910 June 28, 2010 at 7:16 pm #

      Tks sis, I more n more realised that true joy n beauty really stem fr the Lord, instead of from outward circumstances/factors

  3. overcomethecurse June 28, 2010 at 4:57 pm #

    Love your dress and make up. 🙂
    You will be married next yr, spoken in God’s name =p

    • huijun1910 June 28, 2010 at 7:25 pm #

      Wa gal, ur 1st comment on my blog is actually a ‘prophecy’ ah..heh 1st time cell member prophesying to cell leader lor..

  4. suyun2710 June 28, 2010 at 6:14 pm #

    Wow. Beautiful post. Beautiful work God has done in your life and beautiful faces at the wedding, where your joy stands out among the crowd.

    Kind of remind me the one date I ever had in my life where I hoped the time spent will just end that very moment because there really is nothing for me to connect deeply with that person whose interest is not in Christ at all.

    And I love this part:

    “true bliss comes from delighting myself in the Lord …and if I can derive joy & satisfaction from the Lord, does it still matter if I got married or not in the end? If yes, it is a bonus from God, but if no, the joy will not be discounted…so my focus? To work on sustaining to be delighted more and more by the Lord…”

    God is really faithful to give your real bliss that you enjoy now. 🙂

    • huijun1910 June 29, 2010 at 1:42 am #

      Tks for the comment..wa so many ‘beautiful’..one of my fav words…
      Ha, I guess u r one of those who can understd wat I meant by “singlehood bliss” that comes fr God..

  5. sophia June 29, 2010 at 12:34 am #

    OMg. So touched, Huijun! And so happy for you. I think it’s YOUR big day instead! So glad the worst is over…you have passed the hurdle, and now God will bless you doubly and triply! Oh what the heck, let’s just be selfish and say quadruply, too! 😀

    By the way, you’re a bad sister. You are not supposed to outshine the bride! You look gorgeous!

    • huijun1910 June 29, 2010 at 6:48 pm #

      Ha tks for e kind words..that’s why I always say God never shortchange His loved children..though i’m not marrying now..He oso make sure i’m not disgraced 🙂

  6. Adrienne June 30, 2010 at 7:49 am #

    Yeps I totally agree that u look joyous, very pretty and sweet too 🙂 God’s promises to His precious children never fail! Though sometimes our initial wishes/desires haven’t come true, He knows better what to fill our lives with so that we can rejoice in all our conditions!

    • huijun1910 June 30, 2010 at 1:12 pm #

      oh u seldom comment for a while le…
      thanks for nice words…
      u know, the presence of u & other LCM bro/sis really added to my joy that day….so nice to have brethren from same church to be close to me on that day…felt so strengthened at the sight of 4 of u 🙂

  7. unmeritedly favored July 1, 2010 at 4:21 am #

    Nice!

  8. overcomethecurse July 2, 2010 at 2:15 pm #

    Yes I am prophesizing!You will be married next year. Hehe. HS told me this!If it doesnt happen next year, I will prophesize to you every year till it happens, cos it will! =)

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