So It’s Really Confirmed…

12 Apr

Hmm…I realize that many of my testimonies on this blog tend to start on a ‘negative’ note (i.e. on my weaknesses or problems)…so before you all start thinking it’s very poor thing to be a child of God, I better start sharing something more positive…As I always said, God never short-changed me…so it’s not that He didn’t gave me ‘good things’…just that sometimes it may feel like very “show-off” if I share too much about the tangible blessings God gave me…furthermore, answers in trials/daily struggles seem to be more powerful in touching lives…So I prefer to share more about the latter.…but I guess there just need to be a balance of the different sharing… So no use if I kept saying God never short-change me without giving some concrete examples….Thus, today I will write about evidences of how God blessed me ‘practically’, in tangible ways…so  just for this moment, please allow me to be “proud”, to indulge in pride (of being God’s child)…

Well, as some of you may know, I’m recently promoted (that explains the title, the promotion is confirmed though I was originally still in denial)…

This is the 2nd time in 7 years that I have been promoted…

The 1st time I was rather happy cos essentially it’s only pay rise, no change in my job responsibility..it’s like an upgrade in job grade only…

But this time round, I was actually quite hesitant about the promotion…

In fact, I told my CEO & my 3 bosses that I do not want the promotion…

Why?

Heh, it’s not that I’m noble or what…but I’m just plain lazy…

Cos once promoted means more responsibility…& I thought the amount of time/work I need to put in would far exceed the amount of increment I will get..heh, as what my Ah Ma (grandma) said, “so u only getting $10 more per day?”…& I thought to myself, “ya, the $10 per day may not even be enough for me to take cab home after overtime..& it definitely can’t make up for the extra dark rings that will deepen on my face, or compensate for the lost personal time, etc”…

And another thing, while I may be good at executing tasks, I am a super lousy thinker and analyst..in fact those who know me will know I can’t really think one…not to mention plan strategies, workplans etc etc…haha, in fact, I seriously think many of my friends wondered how I even managed to get my degree in the 1st place (of cos, it’s due to God’s grace that I can graduate)…

Ok, I’m not a ‘saint’ who do not care about worldly things….so to be frank, the only thing I fancy abit about the promotion is the change in job title…haha I thought “assistant director” sounds very nice and mighty (hehe though I’m not heading a big unit but a humble dept of only 5 persons, me inclusive)….

Yet, the job title alone is not enough appeal to me, in view of the many tradeoffs…

So I prayed against the promotion actually…cos I’m scared I cannot meet the new harsher expectations of boss…& seriously I’m already very contented my pay before promotion (though it was lower than my peers working elsewhere)…

But this promotion got me thinking about many things, especially the grace God bestows me at work:

1. We do not need to fight for blessings, but God stuff the very blessings that are best for us at His most perfect timing!

So despite me not wanting it & even went to the extent of highlighting to my bosses my various shortcomings which will make me unable to take on the bigger role…BUT God still make the promotion happen…

2. I am favored!


(a) Actually, I’m almost prepared to be ‘condemned’ in my job forever till the day I leave the company…well, this is not to say my bosses hate me…but cos I have seemingly put in lesser efforts than most of my other colleagues…everyone in my company from the CEO to the rest of the colleagues all know I have to take the company transport home on time every day…”Hui Koon’s policy – no overtime; taking bus home on time is very important”… Of cos, I would still take every task given me seriously & do my best, but only during office hours… Well, in a way, this is a choice I deliberately make after prayer, cos I need to balance work and my serving and my personal life too…so I have told my bosses my defined priorities in life since the day I started work & I was prepared not to get any promotion, for the choice I made, cos I need to be fair to the company too…But indeed, when we seek first the kingdom & righteousness of God, all these things will be added unto us


(b) Guess who was the one who fight for my promotion? You know, I really cannot believe that the boss who used to dislike me, wouldn’t even want to talk to me, the boss who had a much strong negative opinion of me, will actually one day be the one who wrote an impactful support letter to justify my promotion…That’s God’s unimaginable grace! It is indeed true that a person who walks with God will get the favor of both God & men, even those who used to be our ‘enemies’….

(c) Hmm…actually I thought promotion would be a very happy thing…but because of the way my promotion took place, I was rather sorry & abit guilty toward my ex-boss (the one whom I’m replacing) cos my presence seemed to affect her…in fact, there was some ‘hoo-haa’ over my promotion, cos it actually caught my ex-boss by surprise…I felt bad cos it was not as if she was not performing at her work…but somehow it happened this way that bosses promoted me above her…

But at the same time, God kept telling me, “what is fairness, huijun? Success does not merely depend on competency, human factors or etc, it depends on God’s favor, whomever God wants to favor will be favored in the end


(d) I’m sorry if I sounded as if I have cheapened God’s grace by expressing my earlier concerns about the minimal pay rise that cannot recompense the amount of extra commitment that I need to put in…well, I’m not complaining, cos when I looked at my pay slip which I just received last Fri, my pay rise was a little more than what I expected (by some tens of dollars)…& I got the highest performance bonus I have ever gotten in my entire working history (well, of cos the bonus may not be as lucrative as the corporate world, but I’m happy enough)…

3. God is not by the way!

I realize every part, every experience of my work was to complement my walk with God and His calling for me

(a) When I first started out in my current and only permanent job, I had to write minutes of meeting, in fact writing minutes seemed to be the bulk of my job..and the arrogant me still grumbled at that time why a graduate was hired only to write minutes so trivial…but it turned out that it polished my lousy English quite a bit that I can be translator for church now…(P.S: I ever got E8 for my English during prelim exams before)

(b) I hated to make presentations…but my work required me to do that quite a fair bit…but I realize God wants to train me to be comfortable on stage for my future calling

(c) When I first started working, first task was to pour tea & coffee for all the directors, but I realized God is training me to be humble…so what if I am a graduate, still can do these menial things…so what if I am church leader in future, I need to practice servant leadership, out of love…

(d) I’m always scared of taking risks, cos I often look down on myself…if there’s anything I feel I cannot do, I would give up without even trying at all….But a minister for God needs to take steps of faith, even if situations may seem contradicting at times…so through the many ‘missions impossible’ that bosses threw at me to test my capabilities, God helped me through one by one, and proved to me that the impossible could be done with God, even when there was no mentor to guide me at work sometimes, it was God and God alone who gave me wisdom to see me through…and God cleverly arranged these opportunities of big projects, opportunities of interaction “airtime” with CEO, directors, etc…that’s why though I didn’t really do over time a lot, bosses wanted to promote me, cos God let bosses see my performance at the right time…

(e) As a follow-up from my last post, whoever say God is by the way or short changes His children? Although it seems like He make me lose $120 for no reason, didn’t He later on add more than what I imagined back to me, through the pay rise & performance bonus? Now God’s mathematics never fail!

4. God’s grace follows every of His children, we just need to explain everything from the basis that we are already favored by Him.

Hmm by saying I’m favored does not mean to say that all things go well for me in human eyes… like all of you know, the relationship that I longed so much for, God did not give me…Yet, the promotion and monetary blessings that I do not desire as much, He stuffed to me without me asking…God has His own perfect will on what benefit each of us most…perhaps that’s why there’s this saying “when God closes a door, He will open another one”…

I’m actually concerned about sharing this testimony…cos our experiences are all so different…not everyone will get promoted, not everyone will be favored by bosses, etc etc…but that’s where ‘comparison’ is a deadly thing we all need to avoid…Some may wonder why God let me promote but not them, while I may be sour why God give people blissful families & loving husbands but not me…so God constantly remind me that I cannot equate God’s favor with any specific visible success or blessings….but if I’m favored, even my failure, like my relationship problem, can be turned around by God to comfort & heal others…


We are all exclusive to God, & His blessings to us are also exclusive to each one of us…His grace are ever present, in each of our unique (good or bad) conditions…if we seek, we will surely see that ever-abundant GRACE! 🙂


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3 Responses to “So It’s Really Confirmed…”

  1. A sister-in Christ April 12, 2010 at 9:26 am #

    Hi sister, good you found your blogging motivation back. Great post and a comprehensive detailed account on confirming God’s grace and blessings in your life. Ah. I want to find mine too.

  2. God's favourite April 12, 2010 at 5:27 pm #

    Hallelujah, praise Jesus. Sister you are greatly blessed, deeply loved and highly favored and you reigned!

    You have shared your prosperity (in alll areas) to show God’s favor and grace to you through the finished work of Jesus that you are no longer sinful and condemned, rejected by God, but fully accepted and embraced by God to receive all good things from Abba father, once again I reiterate, through the finished work of Jesus, so that no man can boast.
    You did not choose Him but He first chose you, freely gives you all things to bear fruits for his glory. Hallelujah praise God for his perfect redemption plan in Jesus!

  3. liwen4lcm April 13, 2010 at 2:33 pm #

    Ya, been favor by God can really melts a person heart and see everything is in God’s grace. 🙂

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