Why Continue to Suffer? Pick the Better Choice!

10 Feb

What do you do when you just feel uncontrollably down? Or angry with God?

2 choices:

1st is to indulge the lousy feeling & see the agonizing effect multiplying…

2nd is to push yourself to think right, hear the right voice, believe right & enjoy liberation….

By default, I like to indulge in the ‘wrong’ thoughts, thoughts not grounded on God’s loving promises — ”there’s no hope for my future”, “I’m useless”, “I’m most pitiful on earth”, “God does not love me nor understands me”, “God will not give me the BEST”, “God only wants to fulfill His own mission of evangelism etc, but He does not care about my needs, my desires, my feelings”, etc…

And by default, I do not like to do the so-called “holy” and blessed things, things that can protect my spirit, restore my joy and hope – pray, intercede, seek God’s voice, believe in His BEST, live a blessed schedule, etc……..

And being the stubborn, willful, rebellious child, sometimes I deliberately choose NOT to do/think/believe right, because I feel that the things God wants me to obey and accept are unfair, not what I desire, why should I allow myself to swallow something I do not want…No, I do not want to give in to God…I want to persist in my way, getting the bliss I think is the best for me…& hopefully, my stubbornness would change His mind…that He will relent & let me have my way, not His…

Yet, very often I realize that I really have no other better way but to humble down and listen to the voice of God…..no, this does not mean that I ‘lost’ to God…cos I realize that ultimately, this is really for my own benefit…….Err…have you ever experienced a kind of agony that is so intense that you will do anything, absolutely anything, just so long as that pain, that agony will go away? Well, in the past few years of my life, I have a number of such encounters…..many people may think that I submit to God because I’m holy, or I’m a sensible child of God…..no, the truth is, I have no choice…..my spirit’s agony is so grave that I just have to let it go, at all costs, at any price….& the only way this pain & misery can be liberated is when I put my emotions, desires and ideals down and face the unchanging love of God in my spirit, hear what He has to say and submit to His love…

The strange thing is, though my willful nature wants me to remain in my foolish thoughts, in ‘protest’ against God, yet somewhere in my inner being, a loving voice always asks me to ‘calm down’, ‘calm down, my beloved child’…..I then realize that if God really loves me, He will not relent from His BEST plans for me just because of my tantrums…that is, if Jesus really, I mean really, loves me, He will not change His mind just because of my temporary non-acceptance of His plans…just like, if a father plans for his child to be an University graduate and have a bright future, he would not change that plan & allow his child to be a road sweeper just because his ignorant child cries day & night that he does not want to study but only wants to play and does not mind being a road sweeper in future…No, even if the child does not mind being a good-for-nothing, if the father really loves his child, he will not indulge his child’s sentiments and requests, no matter what tantrums the child goes into…but the father will persist in giving his child the best, nothing but the best, not even the second best….Our loving Father God is of course a God like that…His true love for us made Him more stubborn than us…If His ways are indeed wiser and better than ours, then He has to stand His ground and stuff His BEST blessings to us, even if He has to compel us to receive those real blessings.

So after I carefully weighed the pros and cons of the choices I have, I decided why should I remain in foolish agony when there’s no need to? So I have to fight my spirit to choose to hear God’s loving voice (that’s the only truth!) and filter out Satan’s deceiving words……The moment I can submit to God, peace & contentment that transcend all understanding, that transcend my ironical conditions, will come…

I wonder whether you also sometimes struggle with misunderstanding with God? Continue in your suffering no more and pick the better choice!

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2 Responses to “Why Continue to Suffer? Pick the Better Choice!”

  1. Adrienne February 11, 2010 at 11:39 pm #

    Glad to see ur pretty blog up (= Looks like I’m not alone cos I too tend indulge in the first default thinking, though knowing the better choice. Ironically, in times like these, we tend to feel very isolated but in fact there are many of such “harassed” people around us who are also in that state. Unfortunately, many may have taken the better choice of positive thinking or using their own effort to make things change for the better. Still in the process of learning how to amplify God’s voice amidst the noise around me. Nonetheless, God has already promised that He loves us and has all the good things in store for us!

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  1. 1st Year Anniversary! « When Grace Overwhelms Typicality… - February 8, 2011

    […] I thought I would waste that day away, but strangely, that very nite, instead of remaining in weak blankness, I actually found the urge to draft my 1st blog post: Why continue to suffer? Pick the better choice! […]

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